I love being out in the sunshine. Plants need the sun to survive and so do I.
I decided to re-pot a plant today and started thinking about how we often need a change at our foundation. When our roots can’t breathe, we suffer.
I often feel like a plant that needs to be re-potted. The pain of CRPS is smothering. It stops me in my tracks, holds me back, makes me want to scream. And the hard part is that I want to do so much. I want to drive again. I want to hike in the mountains. I want to walk on the beach.
At the same time, I’m doing so well. I’m writing more. I’ve written and published another book—six now. Learning to play my violin. Spending time with God. Enjoying my family. I feel like I’m really serving God by walking in my purpose.
And, I feel hypocritical. I know my life is amazing in so many ways and I love and appreciate it, yet I hate the CRPS part. I feel guilty about that. Shame even. And it’s not even my fault. I didn’t give myself CRPS, yet I blame myself. If I only lived more positively, or never sprained my ankle…. It’s crazy.
I know I need to press into God when I feel this way. Give me a few, I’m going to grab my Bible….
That says it all, “…live as one who has died from diseases… you’ve acquired new creation life which is continually being renewed…”
I’ll keep my eyes on Jesus and continue the good work I’m doing—living despite the pain.