I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay. I fake it in front of family and friends. I don’t want people to get upset and that’s totally on me. I guess I’m a people-pleaser after all. I mean, what can happen if they know? I just think that it might be worse if I keep hiding it from them. Then there’s the fact that I am having a hard time facing new diagnoses and symptoms. There’s no one to talk to about this either. I suppose a counselor may be in order.
Having CRPS is one thing, but I’ve been diagnosed with several rare diseases and now have a plethora of other “minor” diseases like fibromyalgia, diabetes, and kidney disease. I was just diagnosed with Dysautonomia and Lymphedema, so that sucks. My life expectancy just took a nose dive and no one understands.
It’s also getting dangerous to go places on my own. Dangerous because I can get hurt if I fall, which I do often and I certainly can’t depend on the kindness of strangers to help me. I’ve broken bones in both feet at the same time, twice, yes, twice. The last time I broke my CRPS leg too.
How do I make this transition from playing fine to letting people really know what’s going on?