Month / August 2019
Distraction is a key component of my life with pain. It helps me with pain management, and it helps psychologically to keep me from focusing on the dis-ease of CRPS, POTS and PNES symptoms. I’m alone a lot of the time as well, so distraction becomes a pretty good friend.
One of the things I do is make art, and I love to sculpt the human figure. I just finished a couple of pieces that I plan to design and sculpt tiaras and crowns for. I plan to finish about five of them for an Expo early next year.
My conceptual framework for the pieces is that we are all precious treasures. We are a royal priesthood of princes, princesses, kings, and queens as children of God (Check out Revelations for more about our eternal future as Christians born again.)
Regardless of the religious aspect of the work, I want to show people that we are important as humans on earth. We each have a kingdom, or our sphere of influence, that we rule and reign for. We lead others, whether we are aware of it or not. People watch people and learn from them.
It’s time we “own” our position as royalty with love and care for others. It’s time to teach people how we want to be treated. And to live a more effectual life that fulfills our calling and purpose.
Okay, you got me preaching… I’ll stop and just say that it’s great to find a passion for something that also distracts me from the pain.
Have a low pain day,
P.S.: Fill your time doing something enjoyable. Do it for you.
Emotions of Chronic Pain & Illness
I can get very down when I’m in extra pain, or when I fall and get hurt. I get especially depressed when I’m going through it alone—in an empty house because everyone is off living their lives.
Listen, I’ve had CRPS in my left foot for 18 years, but it got significantly worse six years ago. I have processed negative emotions repeatedly. They don’t just go away. We don’t get over it, because it’s always there.
This is a problem, not only for us but for everyone we live with and love. I must point out here that CRPS has been dubbed the “suicide disease” for a reason. It’s hard to grieve the life I thought I was going to have, and to look at such a painful and lonely future.
I realized today that I’m disappointed in God. I’ve worked through being mad at Him more than once, but I never used the word “disappointed” before. I’m disappointed that my life is not full, rich or abundant. I’m not fruitful when I spend days in bed. And the only thing I want to do is serve God. I suppose the disappointment is that it’s hard to see my life becoming more than what it is today. It’s hard to see how I am going to be a good disciple from where I’m sitting. That hurts.
Don’t get me wrong. I do have hope. It’s just cloudy when there’s so much pain.
So, I must live one day at a time.
One day. What I can do today is pray. For all of us who live with pain and suffering. I pray we remember that God’s grace is sufficient and that when we are weak, He can be strong through us.
With all the grace I can muster,
P.S.: Let’s keep climbing. We’ll make it.
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